Ellen Degeneres is the greatest because she doesn’t insult anyone but she doesn’t tiptoe around anything either and she includes everyone and she makes people feel good about themselves while poking fun at them and this is the kind of comedy that should be embraced at award shows not misogynistic songs about breasts
how do we even decide what our favorite colors are, are our brains just like “i like green because yea”
"you’re not gay you just haven’t found the right person"
"bisexual isn’t a thing, you’re just confused"
"what do you mean ‘asexual’ you have to be attracted to someone"
if mermaids exist i hope they stay hidden because we’re just gonna end up killing them like we do everything else
The Tumblr app is almost as shit as your comment that i can’t delete
in 9th grade i was getting picked on in class and this girl was like “fuck you guys leave him alone” and called me over to her seat and I was like “thx lol” and she was like “I have something special to show you don’t tell the teacher” and I said “ok” and she pulled a guinea pig out of her purse
Amanda Bynes blocked me on Twitter after I photoshopped her face onto animals
Favorite Peterick Moments [3/?]
"Patrick doesn’t do gross things. His body is made up of kittens, Saturdays, 70 degree weather, first kisses and butterflies. Trust me, I cut that bitch open once to check."